oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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