After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
being pregnant is like rehab
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
whose ass print is on the piano?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
