Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I cut my penus on the lid.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
