im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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