Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You smell like stripper and shame
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
