my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
and she was petting her beer can
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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