Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
