GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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