You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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