he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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