Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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