I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
