You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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