so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped