They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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