the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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