Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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