SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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