Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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