hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
