Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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