Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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