What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
