i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize