She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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