Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
