There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
