Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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