Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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