What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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