I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
