Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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