oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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