yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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