Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
