I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
