Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she smelled like a LAN party
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
