On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
