I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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