Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
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I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
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I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.