Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

I can text with my tongue

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(218): View more from Minnesota

My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.

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(816): View more from Missouri

this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(850): View more from Florida

Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.

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(940): View more from Texas

I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.

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(858): View more from California

He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.

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(904): View more from Florida

the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.

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