Your face is a jimmy john
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
