just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst