Don't you send me to vm
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
