i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
