"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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