i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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