I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
