I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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