I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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