ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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