At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You've changed since you got that strap on
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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