You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize