We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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