i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize