My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes