you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
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He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy