I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.