when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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