I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
