For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
porn star boner night. come get it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
