How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
where does the pee come out of this thing
She's the barista slut.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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