We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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