I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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