He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
