remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
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My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
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She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I think I just sharted jello shots
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