too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
