yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think I won the penis lottery.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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