Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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